Change of Plans

Nov. 2, 2016
9:00 pm
Beijing, China

I don’t even know what to write right now. How can I explain to you all that happened today? I seriously am so lost right now. As such, I guess I’ll have to start at the beginning.

So today was our last day in the hotel. We grabbed our free breakfast and then Taylor and I started the long journey to our new apartments. It was a train wreck. Just so you know, sidewalks in China are not exactly conducive to lugging big huge bags around. I have a few videos about it that I will post later. So after a long, long, long journey, Taylor and I made it to the apartment building and got our stuff moved in. We had started unpacking (and I had thrown away my pink bag) when we decided to go to IKEA. As we were leaving, we got a text from Emma saying that we were getting kicked out of our apartments.

Yes, you read that last sentence correctly. In literally the exact same day, I moved into and got kicked out of my apartment. Apparently the police decided that foreigners are no longer allowed to live in this building. So anyone in our building who is not originally from China is required to move out on Friday. The landlord is trying to help us find new apartments, but so far the options have not been very good. We spent the rest of the day out looking.

Truthfully I don’t know how to deal with this. This whole day has been a bit, no a lot, of a shock. At first, I was convinced it was a big misunderstanding. Then it became something you just had to laugh about. When I got back to the apartment, I called Mom and talked to her about it. I tried not to cry, but I was so stressed, so a few tears did spill out. Now I’m just numb. I don’t know what to feel. I’m trying to be practical, so I’ve contacted agents and I’m trying to set up viewings. But, truthfully, I feel lost.

I know that Abba has a plan and apparently living in this apartment was not a part of that. But I wish He could have told me that sooner. I’m trying really hard to trust Him and to have faith that everything is going to work out. But today was the first time I actually thought, “I want to go home.” The thing was, home wasn’t even necessarily meaning the US. I mean, I would love to be there, too, where I knew I could go to my parents room and vent or move into the barn if nothing else worked. But really, I just wanted somewhere that I could get away. Somewhere I could turn on Netflix and curl up under my blankets and forget about my problems. I wanted a place where I felt safe. But now I don’t have that. It was taken away. I’m afraid that it’s going to be a while before I ever feel safe in a place again because of this. The rug got pulled out from under me, and now I’m drowning.

Sorry for the emotional craziness, but I promised to be truthful. This is what’s happening, so this is what I’ve got to share. I don’t know where this is going to lead, but I am trying to trust that He has it all in His hands.

Words to Remember: Matthew 21:12-17
Challenge: Before I set the challenge, I need to tell you something. I do my devo after I write the rest of the blog. Today’s devo title is literally “Je—s Threw Them Out.” Taylor and I had a great laugh about that. I actually laughed so hard I cried. So your challenge today is to think about Abba and the way He acted in this passage. Then think of the way Aslan is described in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, he “isn’t safe; but he is good.” How does that make you feel? Where do you see yourself in this passage?

Bless,
Kristen